Entry #27

-


(the photo's and text don't really relate but this was just the steam of thought from this big occasion in my life.)

Engagement. Marriage.

Some girls grow up knowing that one day they'll find a nice guy and get married and start a family. They know this without a doubt because it's ingrained in them, because its all they see. Some girls grow up thinking that men don't stick around and that women have to do everything for themselves.

This is the category I fell in. I was raised in a single parent household by my mom. My father was around but my mom didn't hide her disdain for him and all men from me or my younger brother. In me this fostered a very strong, almost dominate, energy within me. In my brother he grew lazy and did nothing to help out unless he was yelled and nagged at.

I've always been praised for my strength. But its also something that I've hated as well. Because it was something that I HAD to be, I was given no choose. I never thought I would get married, because "men are shit", I never thought I'd have children because I didn't want to be a single parent,  and "men never stick around".

Recently I was talking to a few friend after we had all had lunch together. The female friend had done the cooking, and the guy friend had told her to not do the dishes. His reply to her asking why was "because there aren't any single parents around here, so we shouldn't have single parent syndrome." He then went on to explain that when he was growing up, in a single parent household, that he dreamt of having children. In these dreams he was always the single parent.  I thought this was hilarious, but also so true. We can only dream as big as the examples around us.

Comments

  1. CHD:WCK!October 29, 2017 at 5:04 AM

    "We can only dream as big as the examples around us. I love this... I don't agree, but I do think it's the tendency. I've come to appreciate how much we learn from the examples we have. I once dated a girl who had kids, and it was amazing to me how much my responses to them were regurgitated things I heard from my parents. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I realized that my "parenting skills" were just me repeated how I was parented. If I want to be a different parents than my parents were, that's going to take a lot of thought, imagination, and work! i think it's possible to dream bigger than the examples around us, but dreaming bigger definitely involves some work!
    Love you Netchem.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Entry #32

-
Image
Imperfections. Insecurities. Recently I've had to face some of my insecurities when it comes to my relationships. Doing so made me remember a time when I hated my body. Growing up I was always naturally thin. Growing up in a black family I was quickly told this was not a good thing. I soon desired to have a curvier body like the "more" beautiful women in my family. One day I was looking in a mirror in total disgust of my body picking it apart. And then I stopped and asked myself why I really didn't like it. Was it weak? No back in the day I was able to knock the skinnier boys on the buts, and at least wound the bigger boys if pushed(dirty fighter). Was my face not pretty? Nope I at least believed I was pretty. So why all of a sudden did I believe I was so ugly? Because I was told that my body should be different and then I would be beautiful. Thankfully because of my analytical brain this made no sense to me and I went back to loving my body and only saying wo...
Read more

It's me...again

-
Image
Oh hello old friends, its me Netchem. I'm back again to see if we are still as compatible as when I was 17. I am 31 now. My need for you is different now then what it was back then. I find it interesting that I am here again picking up a camera when I said I would never do so again. Will you help me achieve my goals, will we be friends again, or have I come back too late? We'll see.
Read more

Entry #31

-
Image
Taking photo’s of loved ones. I used to be so good at taking pictures of people I knew. I usually liked those photo’s better then ones of strangers or of people I didn’t know very well. Until I meet my fiancé. He has such a great face (in my biased opinion) but every time I turn my camera on him I just get this weird face from him. Its his camera face, like how some girls do that duck face thing or how I like to show all my teeth…It's super sleepy looking and mostly all chin. But I think I’m getting the hang of capturing him. The trick is to catch him when he’s feeling good in his clothes and when he doesn’t think I’m taking his photograph!
Read more