Photography again.....

Christmas time! When I was younger I absolutely hated the holidays. It was always a time of stress for my mom trying to get money for gifts she couldn't afford. And a stressful time for me as well for a few reasons. One I like nice things, and when I was younger I also strongly desired to fit in and look like others. But my mother couldn't afford the things that other kids had, so I got to feel bad two times. Once when what I got wasn't enough to make me fit in, and then again when I had to see how hard my mom worked to get me the few things she did get. My mom and dad were never together so that was another trigger for me. So for years I didn't like the holidays,  them coming usually gave me a lot on anxiety. But eventually I grew out of those feelings, having a job helps, and then I was able to find things I do like about the holidays. I've never decorated a Christmas tree or a stoop. But I've always admired home decorated trees and homes. There somethi...

Photo's just from walking LES late one night. Just trying to get back in the habit of taking photo's with out pressure of the end result of them, and then posting them. The actual point of this blog, and part of my grade...

Imperfections. Insecurities. Recently I've had to face some of my insecurities when it comes to my relationships. Doing so made me remember a time when I hated my body. Growing up I was always naturally thin. Growing up in a black family I was quickly told this was not a good thing. I soon desired to have a curvier body like the "more" beautiful women in my family. One day I was looking in a mirror in total disgust of my body picking it apart. And then I stopped and asked myself why I really didn't like it. Was it weak? No back in the day I was able to knock the skinnier boys on the buts, and at least wound the bigger boys if pushed(dirty fighter). Was my face not pretty? Nope I at least believed I was pretty. So why all of a sudden did I believe I was so ugly? Because I was told that my body should be different and then I would be beautiful. Thankfully because of my analytical brain this made no sense to me and I went back to loving my body and only saying wo...