Photo's just from walking LES late one night. Just trying to get back in the habit of taking photo's with out pressure of the end result of them, and then posting them. The actual point of this blog, and part of my grade...
(the photo's and text don't really relate but this was just the steam of thought from this big occasion in my life.) Engagement. Marriage. Some girls grow up knowing that one day they'll find a nice guy and get married and start a family. They know this without a doubt because it's ingrained in them, because its all they see. Some girls grow up thinking that men don't stick around and that women have to do everything for themselves. This is the category I fell in. I was raised in a single parent household by my mom. My father was around but my mom didn't hide her disdain for him and all men from me or my younger brother. In me this fostered a very strong, almost dominate, energy within me. In my brother he grew lazy and did nothing to help out unless he was yelled and nagged at. I've always been praised for my strength. But its also something that I've hated as well. Because it was something that I HAD to be, I was given no choose. I never ...
This month is super special at my temple because it is the month of Kartik! For me it is a time where all the devotees come together to sing for the pleasure of the lord, every day! As much as I enjoy this month long celebration, I also have a hard time with it. I know that Kartik (Damodar) is the best, the purest of purifiers, and most glorious of all months. Also the month of Kartik is particularly dear to Lord Sri Krishna. I'm always so overwhelmed by by emotions when I'm listening to the pray that is sung every night. But as soon as its my turn to go up to offer my ghee lamp (shown in the second picture) I literally can't think of anything to pray or give thanks for. So I sit there feeling like an ungrateful fool waving a lamp around...
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